Something is missing...

I'm feeling a bit ambivalent today... not quite sure what I want to do. But considering I'll be going to bed in a few short hours I guess that's alright.

I'm not sure if I like New York or not. Maybe if I had some more friends or family here I might... but even then I'm not sure...

Maybe if I felt like I was a "real" artist it might be different - but sometimes I feel like I'm just pretending. I know deep down that I am an artist I just have to convince myself of it sometimes.

More things I've been thinking about...

the act of holding another person's hand...
butterflies (there seems to be quite a few here...)
beer (Alaskan Amber specifically)
crushes

Ambivalence.

Ambivalence is the word for the day today. I know what I should be doing but do I want to do it? No... I couldn't care less about anything.

One bright note in my day yesterday is that I stopped by the dog beach and watched this cute bulldog run around. The dog beach is like a big singles bar for puppies. I saw a long-haired wiener dog too.