I didn't get a lot of cleaning done yesterday but that's okay - My place is in pretty good shape. I am tired... I don't know if it's the change in energy but that's okay - as long as I get enough sleep I should be fine. I have gone to bed before 9pm both Friday and Saturday night.
My good mood lately has gotten me feeling more grief/sadness regarding my Dad... I'm sure it's all related. Being open to feeling good also lets all those other emotions that have been tucked away for a while seep out... I start thinking about how happy I am and then I think about how Dad would have liked (or does like) how good I am feeling, and then I get all weepy... it's okay though... I like knowing that I have feelings. After Dad died I kept thinking to myself that I should be more sad, or more something.. I think things had been difficult for a while and I had neatly packed up all of my emotions into their little compartments just to do deal with the situation... it is only now that I am starting to see some changes in my life that those compartments of feelings are being unpacked at different times... three times this week I've actually had to grab keenex... I don't mind the puffy eyes that result from the crying. I'm sure there will be quite a few more times when I have to deal with that problem... I'm okay though.
I like the good mood I've been in.. I'm trying not to overthink it.
Life is looking good.
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