How in the hell???

I have to figure out what I'm doing with my critique... I'm tempted to send my panel the link to my blog and then they will read this (Hi critique panel!)... since my work is all about me and my obsessions and rituals I guess they should see all of them including the mundane daily rantings/observations/lamentations of a 40 year old single broad.

How does one go about talking about these sorts of things? I guess we'll all find out.

New link

I have put up a new link for my Running blog at the right... it's thoughtfully titled Jenerator Running!

I am so clever... That's why I'm soon to be a MFA'er.

Please no wisecracks about the action photos.

I'm tired of all this...

Three times this morning I've tried to post and three times my laptop has frozen up.

Matt Lauer is in Everett Washington (that's just north of Seattle)... Critique is on Wednesday... I have to get ready... and I need to eat more veggies... I must say that I haven't been too good at getting in the veggies lately.

Time is running out... money is running out... my clean clothes are running out...

At least I'm in a good mood!

Hello critique week.

There weren't a lot of people at the preview last night... but there was some really good cheese and free beer. I like cheese and beer, especially when they're free.

After the preview we went to Trader Todd's to celebrate my birthday with karaoke. I didn't actually karaoke because it was too crowded.... after a while we went to Friar Tucks where I got to drink a shot out of an inflatable sheep's ass. I can't say I've ever done that before. I did end up dancing a lot and dang, I am tired.

To get to my title - this is critique week. Mine is on Wednesday and I think I'm ready... I want to send everyone on my panel a link to the blog so they can get some background on me and my obsessions (although I don't think the posts lately have been too interesting). I have to get together a list of things I want to talk about during my critique and questions I have...
Maybe I'll do that later when I'm a little less drunk (oops I mean hungover).

I think once I get my act together today I'll take a walk to Target - now that's a surprise!

Nap time

Okay, so I've got everything done that I need to. Now I'm going to sleep for a few hours... that is if my neighbors are quiet.

Things to obsess over today...

Getting things set up in time.
Deciding what shoes to wear.
Printing business cards.
Not drinking too much tonight.
Not eating everything in sight.

I'm sure I'll think of more later.

Way way back....

I've been thinking about my artwork again and about how it really is all about me in some way or the other. I started thinking about one of my earliest rejections... that would be my running for Junior class vice president at Nathan Hale High School.

I lost to Linda Brown... I think I would have made a great Vice President... I was crushed... rejection is hard when you're 15 years old. I guess it's hard anytime, but I suppose if I'm going to be an artist I better get used to it.

Today was busy - I got most of the stuff done that I needed to. I went to Art Chicago this afternoon and introduced myself to Greg Kucera.... better start networking now. I saw work by Tim Roda and Drew Daly (both UW MFA Ceramics grads)... I really like their work.... maybe I'm partial to their work because I know them...

Tomorrow all I have to do is attach my exhibit list, print out a few business cards and look cute for the reception and karaoke!

I better go to bed soon.

make them stop...

I woke up and then the voices in my head started up again (they're real I tell you!). Last night my laptop started acting up again... its being very slow. Almost to the point of being aggravating. well, the voices were off and running and here I am...

I'm up so I should just stay up. right? Maybe I'll try to back to sleep for an hour or so. I think that's a good idea.

errrr... what am I doing?

I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to do next. I've got beautiful postcards to upload and order but I can't save the pages separately to upload them.... I should just go to bed.

I saw my friend Tim Roda today. He gave a talk at Columbia College Museum of Contemporary Photography. I really like his work (I actually own a piece of his that he made in grad school). You all should google him. He's here for the weekend, I said I'd take him around school if he had the time.

Tomorrow I need to finish installing and then I need to work, go to a panel discussion at Art Chicago and then back to school for the Student Leadership dinner.

I am going to bed... not much more can be done tonight.

Oh no, I forgot to have children!

How does one know when they are ready to reproduce? Maybe it just hits us one day - or maybe it's an accident...

I've always assumed that I'd have children some day but I don't have that urge to be pregnant.

I guess I could adopt if all my eggs shrivel up and fall out before I'm ready.

Oh well, on a brighter note I get to drink my coffee this morning for another hour or so. I have to work and then I'm going to finish installing my piece for the show (or at least try). Things never go as planned though...

I'm still having problems with my computer... it's better but I'm going to have to have an overhaul. Maybe I'll do it next week sometime (if I can prepare myself).

Back to my coffee.

Updates and Events...

So... installation took longer than I thought. They say it does, but do we ever pay attention? No. Let me just say that drilling holes into the ground is not as easy as you might think. My back is killing me.

I'm a bit on the tired side... I got an email saying that I had been nominated for a student leadership award... and I promptly deleted it. When I got home there was a message on the answering machine about it as well. There's some sort of dinner on Friday for it... hey, free dinner. I might just go. Maybe there's a cash award attached to it.

Next thing on the list. Tonight I took the polish off the toe I stubbed on my birthday... it's not pretty. It's turning black under the nail... needless to say I covered it back up.

I guess I should go to bed - it's way past my bedtime

What is a girl to do?

I have too much to do today. Work, pick up a birthday present at the post office, install, choose a business card, have children (oh wait, that's not today).

I'm beginning to feel a little sick to my stomach. It's nerves I think.... I just have a lot going on and its showing up in the tummy.

I should look for another race to sign up for before I move... oh yeah, I should also get a replacement microphone... I think I mentioned it - it wasn't working when I ran on Saturday.

Okay, I better get up and obsess about something... I'm not feeling the bogging juices this morning.

Jerry Saltz Rules...

The talk tonight was good. I couldn't really tell you what he said off the type of my head but basically it was entertaining and insightful. It was recorded for Chicago Public Radio.

My business card samples are beautiful! Here's a note, always get someone else to do the work that you don't think you can do yourself. It's the best solution for everyone around.

I didn't get to do any installation today. I'm going to do it tomorrow evening. I guess I should go to bed... It's been a long week and it's only Tuesday.

Still iffy...

This is one of my Birthday presents from Karolina. It's a fully compactable and transportable piece... the chopsticks holding up the sign are not included though...

My computer is working for now... but I'm using Firefox... Safari was having some problems.

On a good note, I got my replacement u-pass and I might actually be able to get most of my piece put in tomorrow. My friend Elisabeth is going to send me some business card samples tonight so I can go ahead and order them.

Now only if they weren't doing construction on the bathrooms on our floor in the studio...

computer stinky...

me cranky, grrrr.

so I've been up for 16-plus hours...

I never went back to sleep this morning after I woke up at 3:15... I think I'm doing fairly well though.

I have submitted my paperwork for the show, I have my critique panel (it should be good)... now all I have to do is install. Installation was canceled today for security reasons. so the next two days we're in there from 9 to 9.

Tomorrow night I am going to a talk by Jerry Saltz at the MCA. Saturday night before my birthday party there is a reception for the gallery people in town for Art Chicago. I suppose I should go and look cute. Greg Kucera is going to be there (at Art Chicago that is...). You never know who you might meet.

I'm happy to report that my toe is fine.

Puppet Bike.

I love the Puppet Bike here is their link. Puppet Bike
They dance for tips. I heart them.

Insomnia?

Okay, It's not insomnia but I woke up and started thinking about things and now I can't go back to sleep. I guess maybe I am worried about the show and getting my stuff up in time.

This morning I am meeting Karolina at 7am. We're going to Unique to get sweaters and then it's off to school. I didn't get to Home Depot so I will try to get there today. I have to submit my loan forms for the show by 5pm... I can't decide weather or not to put in the title or not... I do have the option to make my own labels but since my Word is making my computer crash that's probably not such a good idea.

MASH is on tv right now... maybe I'll try to watch it and go back to sleep for an hour and a half.

four - oh!

Here are some photos from my birthday breakfast.

Overall I had a good day.... food, flowers, cake, walking, shopping at Target and phone calls and emails from all my friends. I was thinking the only thing that would make it better would be if I could have sex... but then I though that sex has the potential to be disappointing so I guessed it was the best day possible.

The only bad thing that happened was that I stubbed my second toe on my left foot... it's one of those extra long toes that just seem to get in the way. It's a bit sore but I don't think it's broken... It happened last summer as well, no blood (but there might be some under the toenail). I'll keep you updated as to my toe health.

I got really pretty flowers... I'll post pictures later.

Hello 40.

I must say I don't feel much different. My knee still hurts although not as much. There's supposed to be a high of 80 degrees today (yippee!)...

I sat in bed this morning and opened my cards and presents. Mom gave me the DVD of Charlotte's Web - I do like a good pig movie. I also got some money so I can order business cards. Katie sent me a gift card from Target, she knows how to shop for her auntie.. I also got a card from Melissa Victor Max and Leo... Nothing from Dad though, I'm sure something will come (I hope)... he called on Friday so I know he's still alive and he talked about my birthday so I'm sure I'll get a call.

Today after breakfast (brunch) I may go to the studio and figure out the spacing of my piece. I may have to take one of the pieces out in order to conserve space... I also have to go to Home Depot and pick up some hardware.

If there's time left I'll go to Target and look at what's on sale. I'll look at the ad and see if they have any cute skirts.

Yesterday during my run I found that my clip on microphone wasn't working (grr).. so I had to hold the recorder in my hand and record that way. It was inconvenient to do this so I would put the recorder in my pocket for periods of time. Later on I will edit in music for people to run to as they listen to the podcast instead of listening to my recorder in the pocket.

The computer seems to be working as long as I don't open word (okay, I haven't tried yet)... but it hasn't crashed.

Happy Earth Day.

Ouch.

I did it but I am wounded... I don't think I'd be as sore if I hadn't walked home from the studio this afternoon with many detours. Here's the pedometer count.40,408 steps, 18.49 miles... 13 activity points.... that's going to be my breakfast tomorrow morning (although I shouldn't carry them over but hey, it's my birthday!

My left knee feels as though it's out of joint (could be..). It's my left side in general - hip, knee etc... it hasn't been the same since I slipped in the snow a few months ago. Oh well, I'll just pound the advil and thera-gesic rub. Tonight I'm going to take care of it and get to bed early so I can enjoy my day tomorrow!

When I got home I got birthday cards galore... I had to keep myself from opening them! Maybe I'll wake up at midnight and open them (okay who am I kidding? - I'll be asleep). I also got a letter from my friend Anne at Crawl Space (see link at the right) I applied to be a member and they have invited me to set up a studio visit with them when I return to Seattle. Since I don't have a studio maybe I'll just invite them over for dinner and show them my work.

My computer hasn't frozen this evening (yet)... I'm trying to only run one thing at a time. It seems that when I try to open up word documents is when it it dying. Maybe I'll investigate - If I had the energy and could go to Trader Todd's and check out the karaoke for next week... But since I can't really walk it probably won't happen.

Welcome to the last day of my thirties.

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that space claim went fairly well even though I was low on the list. I am in a horseshoe space with Matthew Dupont and Dana Deguillo (I think I may have spelled Dana's last name wrong..) Matt's a sculpture grad and Dana is a painter. I know their work and I figure I'd like to be near someone's work that I like and think will be good... thereby making people spend more time at my work.

The bad news is that my computer is acting up again. It keeps freezing up and then needing to shut down. It's stressing me out a bit.

I'm going to finish up here and then get ready to go to ww and then run in the 10k race. There is an installation workshop today that I might go to, I don't really need to do heavy installation, but I think it might be good information for me to have.

I'll check back later.

It wasn't a present.

It was business card samples... but they are nice so it's almost like a present....
Okay, who am I trying to fool???

Oh well, I must say I was in top form giving the tour today. I seem to have my pep back. Good thing, I was tired of being cranky.

Coffee doesn't taste the same anymore.

Yesterday morning I had a bit of trauma when I was getting ready for work. I have a towel bar in my shower that I place my coffee cup and big glass of water on while I'm showering. I have to finish the glass of water before I can get out (some people think it's weird, but it works for me)... well, I was reaching past the cups yesterday and my "Office" coffee cup that said "worlds best boss" on it went crashing into the bathtub. I must say if you are going to drop a cup of coffee the best place to do it is in the bathtub - but I lost one of my favorite cups. It said Dunder Miflin on the reverse side... I bought it at the NBC store when I was in New York.

I was surfing the classified online yesterday and saw that one of the private schools in Seattle is going to be hiring a ceramics/sculpture teacher. I am going to apply - even if I don't get an interview it will be good for me to go through the process. That's one thing I have to do today, get the resume and application out.

I'm also going to wait for my package! Watch, it will be stuff from WW... nothing too exciting. But it could be a new computer! (okay, maybe that's wishing for too much).

Has J Lo lost her appeal?

I think so... you know it must be bad when she's appearing on American Idol. It seems as though it all went down the tubes when she married Mark Anthony. She used to be so interesting in a Britney Spears sort of way but not so much anymore.

When I got home today there was a notice from UPS that they tried to deliver a package to me. Maybe it's a birthday present! They're going to try and re-deliver tomorrow before 10:30 so I guess that means I'll be hanging out in the morning for a while. Tomorrow night is space claim... My number is towards the end so I guess I"ll just take what I can get.

I guess the mood is getting better. I walked home with KG tonight so I got in some exercise which is good... and I did get some things done today... I can't be in a bad mood on my Birthday can I?

Sleeping in.

I didn't get out of bed until 7:45.. that's late for me. Getting ready to trudge through another day... In my mind I know what I should do today but I really do not have the urge... I know if I do what I need to do I will feel better so I will try to get some things crossed off my list.

I still haven't opened the package. I can control myself.

I suppose I could look forward to things. Living with my dog. Showing my family Chicago. Spending time with my nephews and niece. Earning money... The ocean and mountains. Summer camp.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I wish I would snap out of it. I don't want to be a gloomy gus... and it's not just as easy as snapping out of it.... I want to be in a good mood and I can't will myself into it.... Maybe I'll take a bath... at least I can't over eat in the bathtub.

Today I got home and there was a birthday present from my mom in the mail... I was all excited and then I turned it over and it said "open on 4/22/07" ... I called her and she said I could open it but I'm going to try and wait. Let's see how long this lasts...

On my birthday I am going to go to brunch with KG and PJ at Frances Original Deli. I was walking past it today and it looked good and it's close so what the hell.

I'll check in with you later.

Computer problems...

So I have my computer back and the display is really nice... but it keeps shutting down on me... or kicking me out of applications. I've already been dumped out of Safari twice this morning. I will go get it checked out.

Today I am going to work on writing my backstory for my MFA piece and get some resumes sent off to people. I was offered a WW job in Seattle but I'm not sure if I want to commit to it yet. It's on Monday nights. Today I will also pick up my race packet for Saturday.

Yesterday an email was sent out to the MFA grads inviting us to a reception for the Art Chicago VIP's at our show on the 28th. That's the same day as my birthday party... how inconvenient. The desire to schmooze and the desire to karaoke are about equal.

My mood has been better - but not much. It is supposed to be in the 70's this weekend so that's something to look forward to.

Maybe I am a robot.

Why when tragedy occurs do I feel nothing? Okay, I take that back I feel something but it's not sorrow... I guess I'm not the only one...

I guess people handle things differently.

Oh well, this morning I'm doing laundry and then I should go to school for the Re-Enchantment seminar.. it's about religion in art. It is also free cone day at Ben and Jerry's from noon to 8pm. I may have to make a special trip. Yesterday I talked to almost everyone in my family... they're checking up on me to see if I'm doing alright.

I'm alright... it's my birthday week, I can't be too down can I?

Smoothies....

I forgot to mention that my friend Marty bought me a jamba juice the other day... it was yummy. I told her it was blog worthy.

Today I went to the CTA office and paid for my replacement bus pass. I won't get it for another week or so. I walked over nine miles today... trying to keep from having to pay for bus fare and working off cookies.

This is the last Monday of my thirties. hasta la vista Lunedi (okay - that was Italian, but I don't remember Spanish from high school....)

What to do on my Birthday.

I've been trying to figure out what I should do on my birthday.. originally I had planned on recovering from a hangover from my birthday party the night before but the party has been pushed back to the 28th (Damn MFA show)... I could go to a Cubs game - they're playing the Cardinals, or I could go get a massage or I could take myself to a movie. Maybe I'll get one of my non MFA friends to take me out to brunch or to the Chicken Hut.

After stepping on the scale this morning the cookie incident was not too harmful, considering that I didn't eat anything when I got home I guess that was good. I just need to steer clear of Wallgreen's... those dollar shortbread cookies are really good (and lethal).



This is a shot of part of my MFA piece. I'll take more photos later for you all.

I'm crampy - you know how I get when I have cramps. grr.

cookies are the devil

I succumbed to cookies on the way home from the studio today. It was pure emotional eating - a textbook case.. eventually I came to my senses and started feeding the shortbread cookies to the squirrels but not before I had eaten 27 points worth.

For those of you not in the know here, my allotment of points for the day is somewhere between 21 and 25. I went way over.

I got all of the work done that I wanted to at the studio today... that's good news.

Welcome to the last week of my thirties.

My twenties sucked the most. The thirties haven't been too bad. Hopefully the forties will be better. forty forty forty forty... say that ten times fast.

Last night I spent another exciting evening at home, I fell asleep at 9:30 and woke up this morning at 6:15. I must be middle aged. I realized yesterday that I can go long periods of time and not have any contact with anyone.... It gets kind of lonely at times... but I suppose that's just the way I am.

Don Ho died yesterday... I just thought you might not know that yet.

Today I am going to head down to the studio and finish up some things for the MFA show. I have to get moving. Maybe somebody found my id and bus pass.

According to Ginger Zee on chanel 5 the weather is supposed to be nice for my birthday weekend...

I have an excellent credit score!

It's 770 (out of 830)... that means I can get credit fairly easy... now I just need a job to start paying off my student loans.

I should be doing stuff today... I think maybe I should go to Argo Tea and work on my artist statement and postcards...

I bought a 7 day pass today for the bus... I really wish people were as honest as I am... if I were to find an id and bus pass I would turn it in.... things suck for me... but they could be worse.

Cranky with a capital C....

Today I lost my student id and my bus pass. It costs money and time to replace them... that should explain it all.

My post run photo...

I was finally able to get the photo of my Race to Wrigley run. I don't know the girl next to me - she's kind of cute don't ya think? But not as cute as me.

Friday without WW

For the past two Fridays there hasn't been enough people for me to work my Friday morning meeting. On the bright side I do get to watch the Today Show this morning although I must say I'm tired of hearing about the Don Imus situation. MORE BRITNEY, KATIE AND TOM!

I've got nothing more to talk about....

Oh Crap.

Well, maybe not crap... poo. I have to have this submission in for the show I'm in on Friday. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to hang it though. It's a collage of color photo copies... If I can figure out how to hang it flush to the wall that would be ideal...

I'm trying to think of what I want for my birthday... postcards, business cards?? moving boxes? massage? a date? No, what I really need is a new computer, but the possibility of getting that is probably slim. What I really would like is for everyone I know who smokes to stop. (You know who you are...). That would be a great gift.

Flowers would be nice.

GRRRR...

It's been a strange day. I'm busy working on my piece for the Big Sky show and getting cranky at Painter bureaucracy at school. That's Painter with a capital P. I think the painting office often forgets that there are Fibers people in the studios in addition to the capital P's. It's a long story. It blows... I'll just leave it at that.

We got our lottery assignments for the MFA show... I'm a whopping 72 out of 84. That sucks too... I suppose any space is fine with me... as long as my work is good. I'm still not sure about my piece, it's done for the most part but I'm aprehensive about presenting it. oh well, in 42 days it will all be over and I'll be winging my way back to Seattle.

Here's a question, how does one pack a futon?

Are you kidding me?

It's April 11th and it's snowing outside! I want to wear my skirts and flip flops again... I guess I can dream.

I sent an email yesterday to the territory manager for WW in Seattle. I hopefully will have at least one part time job when I move back.

I'm trying to post a photo of my post run a few weeks ago but it's not working (grr...).

I think as time goes by my postings are getting less interesting... Have I told you all what I'm going to name my running blog??? jeneratorrunning! how's that for a title?

Comfort.

I have missed the heat that is emitted from my laptop when it sits on my lap. It's almost as nice as a puppy or a boyfriend...
nice and warm...

I am going to have a piece in a show called Big Sky. It's a photo collage of a photo I posted on the blog last month. I have to get it all organized and put together tomorrow... Let see, what else can I tell you. Today I was talking to Christy Mattson (weaving professor) who is also from Seattle (and a Husky). We were talking about my move back to Seattle and having to pay off student loans. She said that she wasn't worried about me (figuring out my life). I'm taking that as a compliment... I guess there is hope that I will find a job and be able to pay my bills.

Have I mentioned how nice my display is now? It's just beautiful, no white spots and no flickering. Yay.

I guess I better go. I'll try to post some photos later.

My baby's home...

I'm sitting here in the Apple store with my brand new display. Yay!

I'll blog more later... lots to do before the day is over!

Garbage in the hallway....

Every time I walk down the hallway of my apartment there are bags of garbage outside of one apartment. It makes me cranky when I see it and I think that I am going to post something about it on the blog and then I forget.

I'm thinking I should put a sign on it that says "please throw me away" sort of like the "wash me" signs on cars. I could be ultra nasty but that's not my style. If anyone has suggestions please let me know.

My computer may be done today... I had to stop by the Apple Store to get a new work order sheet for my repair. I lost the old one... they said they were working on it and it may be fixed.

I guess that's it for now. hugs and kisses!

a day without blogging

is like a day without sunshine. Okay, it wasn't that bad.. I did however go to bed at 9:30.

Today I started a new tradition. Going to a movie on Easter. I went to see Blades of Glory this morning. I give it a thumbs up. Worth six bucks....

This is the first Easter I haven't gone to church in a long time... kind of weird but I'll be okay.

I got a very nice invitation from Tonguethruster to go over to her place to dye easter eggs... I didn't actually go, but I appreciate the invitation.

This afternoon I think I will walk back to my place and work off that movie popcorn.

Thank you Karolina...

I am posting this from her computer pre egg-dyeing party.

I'll let you know how it goes. It should be fun, watch out Martha Stewart.

No plans for Easter - maybe I should go to church and sing my favorite hymn... Christ the Lord is Risen Today.

Maybe I'll go for a nice Easter run... maybe I'll go out for a nice cinnamon roll.

Being without a computer is like...

going without a computer. It is kind of nice... but weird.
Walked a butt-load the last few days... down about 4 lbs since last month (finally) and running like the wind.
I have to go to work now... I'll update you all when I can.

The long walk to the Apple Store...

Begins in a few minutes.

Last night the display was not working... now it is. I think I might blog on paper and then scan it... interesting thought...

Try not to miss me too much!

Laptop back... but going in for a tuneup...

I have my laptop back but I'm going to take it to the Apple Store and see about getting my display replaced. It should be covered under waranty...

I will take it tomorrow - hopefully they won't have it too long... I also discovered that my external hard drive is formatted for a windows computer (then why do they sell them at the Apple store???).

Now I think I'm going to sign up for the Wrigley Start Early Run...

Life is wierd...

Somehow it's different without my laptop... I might be able to pick it up tonight... We'll see how it goes. This is a bit liberating and strange.

I might be in a show coming up... I'll let you know.

Computer in hospital

I think it should be okay... but no blogging for a while. Find some other things to waste your time with... like hockey.

Computer dead.

me stressed... want to throw up.

Risk

I am contemplating turning off my computer and taking it to the studio today. The risk involved is great if it doesn't work when I get there. I am revising my resume and image identification documents and I need to write the text for my MFA piece. If the laptop doesn't decide to work I'll be S.O.L.

I guess I should just risk it. Risk is good in all things... if you don't risk things you might never find that one thing that changes your world.

Things I've been thinking about talking about.

About how good it can be to take a bath (I've had two this weekend - I'll miss my bathtub!).
Ipod playlists for artists/athletes - Depressing songs that have an upbeat tempo so you can workout to them.
GPS tracking of my walks...

I'm sure I've been thinking about more but I can't think of them right now.

Oh, and there's missing people... even those who you still have contact with...

17,850 steps today so far...

I still have to walk to some festivities this evening so I should get another two miles in or so.

I walked to Target (surprise, surprise...) and back Now I'm watching the Commitments.. I could use a nap. abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz... I was just practicing my alphabet there... I wonder how fast I can type??? I'm sure there's a website that can count my words per minute...

I guess that's it.

Welcome to my Birthday Month!

It is April! That means it's the beginning of my Birthday month... I love my birthday (usually). Three weeks from today I will be turning 40. I can't be that old can I?

In addition to it being my birthday month, there is also Secretaries Day (week), National Jelly Bean Day and Grange month...

Today I am going to walk some more.... I need to go to the cash machine... there's one out on Addison, past Target.

I'm thinking about signing up for the Wrigley Start Early Run 10k on the 21'st... I can run six miles... If I were to raise money (to fight child abuse) I could register for free... so if anyone wants to give me money just let me know.