I've been suppressed.

I have been suppressed about a lot of things for a long time... one of them in particular I can't really talk about. My friends know, some strangers even... I realize my posts have lost their luster in the past eight months - but there's a reason. Soon enough (hopefully) I will be back to my old cynically optimistic self.

I've had a filter on my fingers and being that I like to follow rules they haven't been functioning to the fullest.

On another note, I went to the library yesterday and found through iTunes that I can subscribe to the Today show video cast. I downloaded the mornings episode and then updated to the latest version of iTunes. It turns out when I updated the version my Today show episode disappeared. That sucks. I have just opened iTunes and I have resubscribed to the video cast. The only problem is that it will take fifty hours to download with dial up. I suppose I could suck it up and help pay for a higher speed connection. Okay I take that all back.... I found the episode in my list. What a dork I am.

On the schedule next week for me I am attending the Scholarship For Scholars event at the UW for the MFA Ceramics Program. It's a raffle of the current faculty's work and a silent auction of Alumni and others work. Twenty bucks gets you in the door with a hand made cup and all the food and drinks you can consume (within reason).

I'll be there - it's Tuesday at 6:00. I tried to put a link but my dial up won't let me. go to http://depts.washington.edu/teapot for more info.

I got a list of the other people who were selected for shows at 4Culture and started googling them last night. I know who a lot of them are. It should be a good lineup.

One thing they don't teach you in art school is that if you are ever selected for anything you'll usually get a call. If you don't hear anything for a long time you've probably not been selected. This actually goes for a lot of things, jobs - television shows, pageants (okay I'm not too sure about the last one...).

Look! It's a mid day post!

I decided to trudge my old laptop downtown with me today and see if I could update all my itunes etc....

I am coming to you live from the Seattle Public Library (ala Architect Rem Koolhaus) I sure hope I spelled his name right but I don't have time to check.

I must say it's a more architecturally interesting library than the John Merlo branch of the Chicago public library system.... and so far the clientele here smell better.

There don't seem to be too many freakish people.

I'll update you later as to what my overall consensus is of this trip.

Payday part deaux.

I get money today! I have over eleven hours of overtime so I'm psyched. I will pay a big chunk of my visa bill, I'll try to give some to my momma for bills and I am going to set some aside for either my student loan payment or my income tax payment.

I'm thinking I'll have to pay taxes this year because It was crazy - I think I counted at least 5 w2's and over 7 statements of interest paid on student loans. I also received some money while I was in New York that I'll have to pay taxes on... For the first time ever I am having someone else do my taxes. Hopefully my life will be more normal this year and I can do it via the internet for free next year.

My cold seems to be getting better, my head hurts a bit but that's it. I'm not sick enough not to go to work.

I think that's it for now - this morning I need to call 4culture and get the details on the whole show thing.

Damn, now I have to make work.

I got a phone call this afternoon telling me that I had been selected to have a show at Gallery 4culture during the next exhibition cycle.

Now I have to work.

Now if that benefactor would just show up....

Oops!

I forgot to post this morning. I guess that's what happens when you have 10 hours of sleep and a sore throat. It's official... I've caught the office sickness. Hopefully it won't get too bad though.

I am happy to report that my hair is not bugging me as much as it was a few weeks ago. It still sucks though.

Oh, I'm trying to cut back on sugar too this week. That should be fun. I'll keep you posted! ha ha ha ha ha! Now I have to get to work.

Note to self number 893.

Yesterday I bought some Orbit gum. I decided to get my favorite flavor (citrus mint) and try a new flavor as well (maui mellon).

I sat on the sofa last night watching the Hallmark Hall of Fame special (the Russell Girl) and chewing this gum stick by stick. It was my attempt to not put anymore food in my mouth. It worked, but it had an unfortunate side effect. The gum has sorbitol in it... if you've ever had massive amounts of sorbitol you will know that it can have some undesired gastrointestinal effects. Sure it's not as bad as eating three Fiber One bars....

It's snowing this morning so I'm going to cut this short. I have to leave a bit early so I'm not late.

Sleeping in (sort of)...

I actually slept in until 7:25 this morning. I suppose that isn't late for a lot of you out there, but for me it's an accomplishment.

Yesterday I ended up working until 6:30. I don't really mind because I'm going to get a whopping big paycheck and I will be able to pay down that visa bill I racked up while in New York.

I am thinking of taking a trip to Chicago in April to check out the MFA show and to see all my friends. I miss them a bunch. It's not that I don't have friends here, but they didn't necessarily go through the same crap that I did in school.

Today is my brother in law Grant's birthday. We're going to have dinner at his house. It should be interesting for many reasons.

Things I should do today...
go to the gym
eat wisely
clean my room
work on my grant application
wash my car...

maybe I can get part of one of those things done... (does that sound weird? - my grammar is not so good today...)

I'm not here....

I'm at work once again. Hey, it's money. I think my lovely assistant Kristen and I may do something today... maybe troll for men? That could be fun.

Titles for future posts...

What would Dr. Phil Do?

and

Shopping with your skinny friend... a guide book for the fat girl.

okay, maybe these are titles for posts... maybe they're titles for short stories or books...

Umm...

I worked until 9:00 last night so I'm a bit tired and I'm not firing on all cylinders. I guess that's alright. To illustrate that last point I just sat here staring at the screen for about three minutes without making a single move. I guess this post will be short.

Hopefully I can write something more meaningful this weekend. I love you all. And I mean it.

The Today Show is Everywhere...

On Tuesday I was on the bus riding home and a guy standing right in front of me had his iPhone out watching the Today Show! I wanted to tap him on the leg and ask him if he was as big as a fan as I am but I thought he might think I was a perv or a freak.

I may be a freak but I'm definitely not a perv.

I got an email from the woman who owns the gallery in Chicago. I'm still on for a September show so that's good. She also wanted to know if I was interested in participating in a group show this summer. I don't know what's all entailed in it but what the heck!

I got a late start this morning so I should probably go.

Payday!

Good news, I get paid today. Then I promptly have to pay some bills.

Now if I would only get paid for National Portfolio Day. Now you're probably saying to yourself "she hasn't been paid for that yet?"... that would be correct! It's been almost four months and I still haven't been paid. You know that money could have been earning interest in my savings account. Maybe I'll harass people about it today.

We've been experiencing a cold snap here in Seattle. It's not anything near the weather in Chicago but it's still cold. In Chicago I could bundle up and look like a weirdo and it was alright. Not so much here. I need some warmer clothes... let me revise that, warmer, more fashionable clothes.

I better get a move on and look for those warmer clothes...

Oscar Smoshcar!

This morning I woke up early to watch the announcement of the 2007 Academy Awards nominations. Unlike other years I didn't take notes... I figured staying horizontal while I watched it was a good thing.

I am happy to see that Juno as a movie and Ellen Page were both nominated.... I now have a list of movies that I would like to see. (maybe I'll make my lovely assistant Kristen go with me)...

those movies are - No Country For Old Men, There Will Be Blood and the Diving Bell and the Butterfly. I suppose there are others I could see (maybe Eastern Promises or Michael Clayton - but those first three are the top.).

On another note, I am thinking that I should start making some work... sometimes I think it would be nice to have a studio - but that costs money. I will be getting a paycheck this week... I find that I have mixed emotions about working - I have to work to earn money, but I find I don't have a lot of time to think about my other endeavors. I suppose things will be different in March (maybe)... I'm in a lull. I think I'm okay with that though. I don't really want to get stuck in one of those downward spirals that I get into sometimes.

Yo.

I slept in a little bit this morning which was nice. The office that I am working in right now is closed today but I am going in to help out... It will be nice to have a paycheck on Wednesday. Then I can pay a big chunk of my credit card bill.

I don't have anything too exciting to report this morning. I did go to the gym yesterday and I survived. Maybe I'll go tonight. I'll let you know.

Once again.

Last night my brain got in the way again. I was all set to go to the opening at Crawl Space and I didn't do it. I talked myself out of going outside. It's a strange thing, I'm fairly outgoing when I interact with people about my work, but when I have to go be social I sometimes have a hard time getting out the door.

I ended up watching Cinderella Story starring Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray. I'm sure Crawl Space would have been more entertaining. I guess I'll just have to keep practicing going out in the evening.

The grant writing workshop I went to yesterday was pretty good, but some of the questions people asked dealt with all this minutia detail crap and we ended up going long and being rushed. Maybe I just don't have the patience for stupid people (or people who are not fully aware...). I should get started on my application earlier rather than later.

Today my sisters, brother's-in-Law and I are going to lunch. Hopefully there won't be blood.

I WILL go to the gym today as well.

Word to your mother!

Errr... part 2.

So... I'm sitting here (actually I'm standing) getting ready to make my move.

I have to go to work this morning and then I'm off to a grant writing workshop put on by Artist Trust. I would really like to be back in bed.

I guess I should go.

Before I do I would like to say good morning to my brother-in-law Grant. He's a regular reader along with Marty's Mom.

I have to wonder.

I check out my stat counter to see who's checking in on me and how they find the blog. It concerns me that people search for the term "fill my ass" on Google. Okay, maybe it doesn't concern me per se but it makes me wonder what these people are trying to find.

I realize that you may also wonder why my blog turns up when they search this term. It's because of this post here. It was back in June of 2006 after my experience with the Levis Intellifit Pit in Chicago. I actually tried on jeans at Target and they didn't look too bad. The lesson we can take from all of this? If you use the word ass in your post you're likely to have a variety of people see your words.... and ass.

So there you go.... did you notice my hair in that post? I'd take that long mess over my 70's inspired 'do right now.

Sleep won out over the gym again today...

I better get ready for work.

I am channeling 70's teen heartthrobs

I'm referring to my hair. I'm still not digging it. It's a bit too shaggy.

The job went well... I have my own little dungeon to work in.

I decided to sleep in a little bit today so the gym did not make it on my calendar. I should probably find a way to get it in so that I can continue on my thin thigh campaign.

Off to work I go...

I don't think I mentioned it but I have a job finally. You are now looking at a legal document clerk... (okay you're not looking at me but you know what I mean).

I will be gainfully employed for the next few weeks. It will be good to get out of the house and making a bit of money so I can pay those bills.

Coming up this Saturday is the Matt Mitros show a Crawl Space. Now that I'm a member I have to publicize publicize publicize! So come on out Saturday night it should be fun.

Well, since I'm not sweating it out at the gym right now I should probably take a shower... see you later.

Just call me David.

I got my hair cut today and I think I look a bit like David Cassidy from his Partridge Family days. I would include a picture but because of dial up it would take forever.

Just visualize David.

hello my friend dial up!

Back to the slowness of dial up.

Today I have scheduled a beautification process (haircut for those of you who don't know my terminology yet). I decided to wait until 1pm so that there will be less ice on the roads.

Linny has been gone the past two days on the Today show. They said that he was in Washington DC getting a checkup at the VA hospital. It's nice to know that nothing bad happened to him.

I'll update more later.

I am a superior human being.

I keep telling myself that and eventually I am expecting to believe it.

If you are a regular reader of my blog you will know that I really love award shows. Last night should have been a highlight for me - the Golden Globes... but no. A press conference will never do for the glitz and glamor that is the Golden Globes.

Maybe I should start an awards show for artists. (Now that's a Donny Deutsch big idea!)

How would that work? I'll have to think about it....

Cravings and crawling...

I have been really craving buffalo flavored things. I bought some Frank's Hot Sauce the other week and the bottle is half gone. Last night I even put it on popcorn... they should make buffalo flavored powder to shake on things.

Camp was good. I really didn't end up doing anything. I just stood around and then cleaned up. That's alright I suppose - I did get to catch up with some of my friends and got to eat some good old camp food.

When I got home I got an email from Crawl Space. They think I'm a spiffy dresser and would like me to join them. (I made up the part about the dressing... but I'm sure they think I am) They are going to send me information on membership this week. It's going to be nice to jump in and learn about other aspects of the art business. Now if I could just sell something...

Pirate's mom comes back tomorrow night and I'll go back to my little stinky and my momma. Maybe someday I'll get a job and be able to move out on my own.

In terms of my lifestyle makeover - it turns out that my friend Nick is doing personal training and I may enlist his help in my firm thigh campaign. I also tossed around the idea of running a half marathon with my friend Bryan - I don't know if that will actually happen... it might. maybe I'll check that out now....

camp...

I'm off to be "craft goddess" today. I prefer the term "art goddess" though.
I'll take my camera and try to get some good shots of my handiwork.

It's good to be back.

In my rounds of the openings last night I managed to see a bunch of people from my school days. As promised I checked out the Ken Fandell show at Howard House and Eric Eley's show at Platform (both were good - I'll have to go back when it's quiet though).

I also managed to finally get down to Lawrimore Project. It's a really nice space. I'd like to live there.

Today I'm delivering my application to 4Culture and then I'm having lunch with my friend Bryan. I also have to get supplies put together for my art making activities tomorrow.

Dang, I forgot that I had this post going... now an hour and a half later here it is...

Why did you move back to Seattle?

I keep getting asked that question. Why wouldn't I move back to Seattle???

Seattle is home.

Seattle CAN have a great art scene.

Seattle has hills and green spaces.

and the most important thing - Seattle has Stinky.

feeling better.

today is a new day and I feel a bit better...

on the agenda today we have the following,

Showering

I am meeting with my first ceramics instructor Sam Scott this afternoon to discuss life and my career.

I also want to go to openings tonight... there are two shows I want to see..
Ken Fandell at Howard House (he teaches at SAIC) and Eric Eley at Platform.

I finally feel like I need to get back into the swing of "art things" I can't sit on my ass forever.

I am happy to report that I finished my 4culture application yesterday, now I just have to deliver it. The problem I think I may have with my portfolio is that some of my work needs to have a description in order to fully appreciate it. I mean just looking at a Google Earth images does not convey the fact that these are places chronicling my sex life.. or looking at prints of celebrities does not convey the fact that I went to the Today show every day for 57 days and I am the person standing behind the celebrities - I'm just saying that trying to convey the scope of my work is not easy when you only have a space of two inches by 1/4 inch.

Maybe in March things will get better... or they could be worse... it depends on how you look at it. I can't divulge more but then I'd have to kill you.

I guess that's it for now.

Stress is working it's way...

if I had access to the following things I would eat them right now.

A pound of bacon.

ding dongs

Cherry Cordial ice cream

chocolate cream pie with whipped cream on top (any kind of whipped cream - it could even be the fake stuff).

Potato chips with ranch dip.

Buffalo Wings with blue cheese dressing

Cheese sticks (the deep fried variety - they have to be breaded and fried)

nachos

Pop Secret Homestyle brand popcorn

fish and chips

spaghetti and meatballs

chocolate milk

big hunks

ginger lemon creme cookies


I would eat those all and then I would explode. I'm sure I would be missed.

What is the problem?

I'm thinking today I may start the official documentation process of my firm thigh campaign. I realize that my thighs are not large by any means but I have body image issues (sort of)... I mean I know that I am little on the outside, but I don't feel little on the inside. It's much better than it used to be but I still have a long way to go. I took photos of my thighs the other day and I'm thinking of making casts of them as well... There's also a pair of Nike exercise pants that I think would be good for documentation photos... Maybe I'll take a look at them today.

Yes, I'm still unemployed - but I have a few irons in the fire.


Okay, does anyone have a problem with the Spears family naming their daughter after both their names? I'm talking Jamie Lynn here...(mom's name is Lynn, dad's name is Jamie).

confusion

I had my studio visit tonight. I think it went alright - one thing is sure, I can't really answer specific questions about my work. Maybe it's not that I can't answer them, it's that I can't follow the questions when they're being asked and then I have a hard time with my train of thought during the answer.

If I just talk about my work it's fine... Maybe I could just hire someone to talk about my work for me.

Tuesday morning is alright for fighting...

not that I'm going to do any fighting today but you never know...

I am taking dad to the doctor today so I actually set my alarm for a reasonable time. Currently I am watching the Today show... I think Ann is sick (oh yay, she's back). I miss going there everyday.

Yesterday I got a check from Fedex for my lost box - but I also got an email from my room mate Chris, he said that Fedex tried to deliver my box to the apartment but he wasn't there. This gives me hope that the box is still in existence somewhere. Keep your fingers crossed.

I have a studio visit with Crawl Space members tonight... It's hard to have a studio visit when you don't have a studio per se. I guess I'll manage.

Yesterday I went to Cloud City Coffee to work on my Gallery4Culture Application. Who knows, maybe the third time is the charm... I figured I should get out of the house and work on it. When I was finished there I went to the gym and continued on my firm thigh campaign. I ran/walked for over an hour - my lower half is very sore today.

I forgot to mention that it was Stinky's birthday on Sunday, she's 7 now. We spent some quality time on the sofa to celebrate.

Well, that's it for now.

I've got a gig.

okay, I supposed doing an art project at camp is not really a gig - but it's something. I have to come up with a project for junior high kids by Saturday.

I have officially overcome my time change dilemma. I slept in until 8 this morning. If I end up getting a job I'm going to have to make some adjustments.

My firm thigh campaign is going alright. I didn't work out yesterday but I could feel the workout from the day before. The eating plan on the other hand is not going so well. I am succumbing to emotional eating... you know how I get... I try to not do it but it's hard. Hopefully this week will be better.

I just requested information on the 3 day walk for breast cancer... maybe that would be a good thing for my thighs...

Okay, it's time to get off my ass and get moving (after I finish my coffee).

Bring on the infomercials!

Pirate woke me up at 5:30. I don't know what in the hell he was doing... on the bright side of that is that I get to watch all these great infomercials.

I am all ready to buy Sheer Cover mineral makeup and now I'm watching a program on a body shaper... I wish I had money. It would be nice to suck in all the excess skin that lives on my mid section. It's not the most attractive thing but you cover it up with your clothes.

Okay, on other fronts - my eating plan fell apart last night, but today is a new day and I'm back on the wagon.

I am using my new french press. I give it a thumbs up - it's stainless steel and it keeps the coffee warm.

My witty gene must have left me in New York.... maybe it will come back soon.

I suppose I should get some things done today... I have a meeting with the Crawl Space Members on Tuesday... I should probably throw some sort of presentation together... maybe a nice slideshow is in order...

I'll check back later.

It's worse than expected.

I am back on the wagon of wise food choices (I hope). I weighed in this morning and it wasn't pretty. I don't even want to talk about it.

I'm trying to watch the Seahawks but it's too painful...

I wish I didn't like to eat. I wish I didn't have any debt. I wish I had firmer thighs.

Oh, that's another thing - I announced to my meeting this morning that I was going to get smaller thighs for the new year... I guess since I announced it I have to do it. Too bad you just can't buy them on ebay.

Consolidation.

I am officially consolidated. My loans that is. The plus side of this is that I only have one payment monthly, the minus is that I will be 80 years old by the time I get it all paid off (there goes the possibility of buying a house!).

Poor Britney Spears. Enough said about that.

I am sitting here drinking coffee made in my new thermal french press. The mix was not quite right - or maybe it's the coffee I bought at Whole Foods. I find something I like and then I can't get it anymore. I found coffee at Whole Foods in New York but it's not here... the pretzel bread that they have at Trader Joe's in Chicago they don't have here (or New York in fact). What else is there??? I'm sure I'll think of something...

Yesterday I started reading through the November issue of Art In America. There was an article about art blogging. I've only read about half of it but it seemed interesting since I am a blogger and an artist.

I've done it!

The past three nights I have stayed up close to or past 11:00 pm. I think I'm finally over the time change thing...

If you didn't notice I have discovered the bold feature of the blog. I knew it was there I just never thought to use it. (after looking at this post - you can't tell that it's bold so never mind...).

Weighing in...

Tomorrow I have to weigh in for the month... it's not going to be pretty - but it could be the thing to kick me in the ass. Maybe.

Today - it's the gym and I have to work on applications. I may have a studio meeting with Crawl Space this weekend or early next week... too bad I don't have a studio per se. I do have a mother that makes great pies though. Who doesn't like pie? I'll woo them with it.

Those damn feet.

Too bad I can't show the picture of my cousin Tracy's feet.

I had a great idea for a show. I think it would be groovy for UW students who have studied in the Studio Art Program in Rome show their work at the Jacob Lawrence Gallery on campus. I just have to figure out who to pitch this idea to. I don't know how they come up with the programming for the gallery. I suppose I could just ask the gallery director.

I was going to go to first Thursday tonight but I didn't. Can I be an artist without schmoozing? I'm not sure, but I don't think so. There's always next month.

I was contacted by Law Dawgs (my temp agency) today. They are submitting my resume for a position as Paralegal Assistant. It seems right up my alley... copying, filing, sorting, creating trial notebooks... I hope I get it because I'd like to pay off my visa bill.

I'm watching the Big Idea with Donny Deutsch - I have a bunch of ideas... about art that is. If only I could make millions... or find a benefactor/boyfriend.

What's the point.

I am sitting here trying to figure out how to stop eating... okay, not how to stop eating, but how to quit mindlessly eating..... I gave that book away when I was in New York and never got it back... I think I'll need to order myself another copy.

Volunteering yesterday was fun. Okay, not really fun but I did get to meet some people which was nice. I felt like I was accomplishing something.

Today I think I shall work on applications for shows and grants... I have to quit sitting on my ass thinking about it and just do it.

Okay, I better just do it.

Good news, bad news

Let's start this morning off with some bacon... this is what I ate Christmas morning...
it was good.



Last night I decided I would check and see if I could find out any information on my Fedex claim. I was messing around the site and clicked on the tracking number for the lost package. It is back in the system but it is in Brooklyn... I'm not sure if this is my package - I sure hope it is... I sent an email to see if it's mine. Keep your fingers crossed.

Okay, here's the bad news. I only walked .66 miles yesterday... that's not good. I was going to get back on track with the exercise/better eating plan (no it's not a resolution because I've been doing it for a while)... I will go to the gym later - with all the other million people who are trying to get their crap together.

Last night I almost stayed up until 11. I was watching Law and Order SVU - I missed the last few minutes so if anyone can tell me what happened let me know.

Let's see what else can I tell you... I ordered a thermal french press to replace the one I left in New York. I've been using a single french press while I'm at Nancy's... it's very inconvenient.. you can only make one cup of coffee at a time. I figured I'd get the thermal pot so my coffee will stay hot. It should arrive on the 7th. Can I wait that long?

This is a picture of the Pirate (you've seen him before...) His mom misses him a lot so I said I would post a picture of him. I'm sure there will be more later but he would only pose for a few shots, this was the best one.



This afternoon I am volunteering at Artist Trust to help with a mailing for the Art Auction. I figured it's a good way to get to know people around town... I'll let you know how it goes.

New Year's Eve redeaux.

Well, I did watch the ball drop. (Dick Clark doesn't look so good...)

My lovely assistant Kristen and I went to Red Robin for dinner. A good thing about being old is that you can sit in the bar and not get carded... I had some very yummy buffalo clucks and fries. I ate every last one of them plus some extra fries.

After dinner we went to see Carlie Wilson's War. It was pretty good - but I did start dozing off in the middle of it. I managed to get the gist of the movie though.

I made it back by 10:15 or so and then fell asleep on the sofa. I did wake up at 11:59 and was able to switch to ABC and see the big ball.

I slept in this morning until 7:20 - that's pretty good.

Today I am planning on going to the gym along with five million other people and then I'm going to try not to eat crap. Maybe I should go see another movie.

I'm sitting here on the sofa watching the Today show and drinking my coffee... Kenneth Babyface Edmonds is going to be on the show - He was there earlier in the year while I was there. He's cute. and he can sing.

Well, I guess I should start surfing the internet or something. I have to find a job in order to pay my bills...