It's hard to be a survivor with a bum arm.

It's official, I have tennis elbow and I get to wear this funny looking strap on my arm



This is definitely going to put a cramp in my fashionable lifestyle. I guess there's no sleeveless gowns in the future for me.... even if I wanted to put on the almost slutty dress it wouldn't go very well with the arm band.

So - enough wining. Today on the agenda - go to ww - cycle (body sculpting is out for a while... at least the arm stuff) and then I'm meeting with my friend Joanna who is going to write about my work for the show.... you might know her from here. I also have to figure out videos today and then it's off to Malyn's for dinner and movies (hey look, I'm actually going out for once!).

and yes, I sucked it up and ordered myself a new computer. Old crusty is going to have a new friend to play with. My boss Shirley pointed out the fact to me that I paid a certain amount for old crusty and she's lasted me almost six years - if you break that down she's been a great value... My new friend should be here around the 9th or so... just in time for my online adventures.

I suppose I should pack it in for the morning and get going... I was up a few times during the night... I'm starting to worry about the show... I got some things lined up though so that's nice... I'm not as scattered as I once was.

To Laptop or not to laptop.

I have been mulling over weather or not I should get a new laptop. I would never get rid of Old Crusty, but I think she may have outlived her usefulness in this lifetime. I don't know if she'll be able to keep up with my rigorous training schedule that I've set up for my show...

I think I got a little bit of a raise so that helps a little bit... it's just the thought of taking on more debt. It's not unmanageable but I'm wondering if Suze Orman would say I can afford it. Probably not.

I have to act fast though, maybe I should just bite the bullet.

News - we had a small earthquake this morning. It woke me up. (now King 5 is having people call in and talk about what and how they felt... this is not news - give me a break).

Tomorrow night I'm going over to my best friends house... I am going to try to bounce some ideas off her.

This weekend I also need to get some of my visuals made for my opening. Time is running out... I don't know how I'm going to work in everything I need to do.

I took this a few days ago at sunset...



Later this afternoon I am going to the doctor to get my arm checked out. It wouldn't be prudent to train with a bum arm...

Okay, it's time to go now... carry on.

It's a funny thing

My friend Nancy called me last night in a state of confusion... she had been talking to our friend Kitty and she was under the impression that I had already gotten on the show Survivor. I wish... I don't think I'd be able to talk about it though if I was on it. Sort of like that other show I can't talk about even though it's far past the time of it ever airing...

I've been going through stages of thinking about my show wondering if I can pull it off. I've got the press release and I'm working on making a few changes before it goes out. There's no turning back now... I'll have to beat cheeks this weekend in order to get some things done. I have to get down the ability to get videos put together for youtube... I'm thinking I'll have more photos rather than video... I'm also thinking I may have to suck it up and find a replacement for old crusty (my laptop).

Okay - I think I'm going to go now and post ads to Craigslist trying to find people who auditioned for the show...

Heat gun time.

This morning at class we had a special treat. A heat gun that measured how hard we were working...

I made it from a 69 to a 75. I think that's not too bad....

Today went fairly well, I've made an appointment to have my elbow checked out. I think I might be coming down with tendonitis and I should get it checked out before go into survivor training full force..... speaking of training I think I may have found someone to teach me how to make fire...

I need to get things put together a bit this weekend... I'm not sure I'm going to be able to stay up for lost this evening... thank god everything is online these days. I luvs me some computer technology...

Rejected.

I am trying to put together my panel discussion for my show and nobody wants to help me out.

Let me re-state that. No mental health professionals want to help me out.

what is a girl to do.

I have to get going so I can enjoy my last Wednesday morning cycle class for a while...

I suppose its a good thing, this way I can get a few extra hours of sleep.

Not sleeping.

I thought I might get a good night sleep last night but it didn't happen.

I got a message from my friend Chad regarding my show which got me thinking... now everything's changing... if only we didn't have to publicize the show then I could make all these changes at the last minute and not feel freaked out about it.

Anyone out there want to loan me a treadmill?

I could also use a new computer. Help me.

Beat down like a rug.

Hopefully these nice pictures will help calm you this morning...





We had a meeting last night and it lasted a long time... not too bad, but I don't particularly enjoy staying out past 10 p.m. I think tonight I may crash and burn when it's all over.

I discussed my ideas for the show with the group and we're going to go into some strange territory but I need to plan it all out. I think I'm just going to have "Events" at the gallery that help me and others hone their "mad Survivor Skills" and then post the rest of my training schedule online via a blog, YouTube and Twitter. It's weird to think that you have a gallery without anything in it.

Now I have the task of coming up with "events" to hold on the weekend that the public can come to.

I know I'll figure it all out... I'm just a bit stressed because the press release needs to go out in the next few days and decisions need to be made.

I feel sick, I have to go.

That icky feeling...

I'm trying not to get too stressed out. But I must admit it's not working too well.

As I said last night I have to figure out what's going in the gallery for my show. Since the majority of the work is going to based online I probably should have a computer there (where do I get one?)... also, do I put in props? Memorabilia? video (of course...).... is this all just narcissistic nonsense? I think maybe it is.

I don't want to crash and burn... I had a near panic attack about an hour ago when I though I only had one weekend to get my crap together... luckily I realized I have two plus a partial day. The only possible up side is that I may lose my appetite and get back down to my goal weight quicker than anticipated.

I think the last time I felt this anxious was when I was in New York getting ready for Scope.

I have started writing down a list of possible things I can put in the gallery and it's making me feel a little bit better but not much... I know in the back of my mind everything will work out I just have to have faith in everything... it's just hard.

How do I convey it all? It'd be nice if I was independently wealthy and didn't have to work full time. Then I could focus the next three weeks... I'm seriously going to have to curb my workout regimen. Or at least change my schedule to the morning so I can work on other things in the evening.

Argh.

Stressing out a bit...

I have three weeks to pull together my show. Is it going to work? what the hell am I doing?

This is the biggest show I've had to date... I sometimes wish I still made things. then it would be easier.... but definitely not as interesting.

Oye.

What's the word?!?

I was actually down a pound today at weigh in today so my current weight is 148.8... 4.6 in three weeks. Not too shabby.

I have also finished my info about my show... I might crash and burn... I guess we'll find out.

Mr. Arms was at the gym but I didn't talk to him today. He is way too popular - I don't know how he keeps his arms in shape with all that talking.

Tonight we're off to dinner at my sister's house. I'm eating prime rib and I'm counting the points. yummy yummy in my tummy!

Okay, this is a bit scattered today but I'm not sure I have ever used the acronym LOL or if I ever will.... strange thing. It's also the same with the phrase 24/7 I don't really like that...

so - does anyone have a mannequin I can borrow?

What the hell am I doing?

I am trying to figure out what I'm doing for my show and I have some sketchy ideas but I'm not sure if it's all going to work out.

argh! Is what I'm doing art? If I call it art does it make it art?

I'm going to try not to think about it too much. It makes my brain hurt.

On a nicer note, they fixed all of the cycles at the gym the other day and now they work like butter. I mean they feel like butter... they are smooth and there's no jerky feeling when you stand up on them...

Last night I was pooped. I was lying on the sofa with my dog and then I was out like a light. I missed the majority of my favorite show the Office. I think I can watch it online though... all is not lost.

Tonight the nephews are coming over to spend the night... I have too much stuff to do...

I guess I'll stop now.

The whole foot thing.

I don't think I can necessarily become the ultimate Survivor if I have sore feet all the time. Maybe I should schedule an appointment with the foot doctor....

I finally got the photos off my camera and here are a few from the Survivor open call

Me...



The line...



My neighbors in line (Megan and Teresa???) I don't remember her name but she was a Marine. Now that I will remember.



I think I'm going to test out uploading a video to my I'm a Survivor Site.

I suppose I should check it out. More later.

Good News and bad.

This morning at cycle class we were informed that Rick (the instructor) has to give up the class. This sucks because I worked extra extra hard in his class.

The good news is that I get to go back to sleeping in. okay, maybe it's not technically sleeping in when you still get up at 5:30 but you get the gist!

Speaking of cycling - they are implementing new rules at the gym which limit you to signing up for 4 classes a week. This is a blow to my firm thigh campaign... I'll manage to survive but it won't be pretty. Maybe I'll just go and work out during off times.

Okay - I have to run because I have to work.

Shall we celebrate?

There's a part of me that wishes I could call in sick and watch the inauguration with my doggie next to me.

Yesterday I ended up going to the gym twice. The first time I went I gave up my bike at cycle and ended up doing step aerobics (I'm not so good at that anymore). I went back for body sculpt/core and cycle in the evening. My legs hurt today.

Aye aye aye... I need to figure out what is happening with my show. I know the blog/training part for the most part - but what do I put in the gallery? A video? A "set"? My own immunity challenges? I have to figure it out soon.

I am thinking it's Monday today but it's not, it's Tuesday! That means only four days to work this week! Yippee. I guess that's all I have to say this morning.

Good Morning people!

It sure was nice to sleep in this morning. I am feeling well rested and ready for the day (sort of). The plan today is to go to the gym at 9:30 to cycle and then I might try yoga if I'm not too sweaty.

My momma has a job interview today - I'm going to cross my fingers for her.

What else is on my agenda? I am going to work on the information for my show... I think we've got the postcard down for the most part... and I need to get a schedule down for what I'm going to do and then plan plan plan. I need to figure out my camera and have Matt give me a lesson on things... oh, it's going to be a busy two months...

Does anyone have a spare 2,000 dollars so I can buy a new laptop?

I've made contact!

I finally had a "real" conversation with Mr. Arms today.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be... let me try to recall for you what was said.

First, let me set the scene - Mieko's Gym 9:24 a.m.

There I was standing at the drinking fountain that is right near the Men's locker room. I was filling up my water bottle and getting ready for cycle. I looked up and and he walked out of the locker room. I managed to grunt out a "hey" or something that sounded sort of like that and he said hey back (I think).

Flash forward to post cycle - I did manage to stare at his legs quite a bit during class... he was at one of the machines stationed around the cycle area. It was conveniently in the path to the front desk where they keep the sign up book for class. I was already signed up but I figure any chance to walk by him is good... as I made my way to the desk, beads of sweat dripping down my face it happened... he said either one of the two things... "you're tuckered out" or "you look worn out"... I said something like "I always am" (I think that's what I said the last time we sort of spoke...).

I then went to the desk and rifled through the signup notebook and then walked back towards the locker room. I said "why don't you cycle?" He said "I did on Wednesday" (note to self go on Wednesday...)... He then said "when did you start?" I replied "I started back in April". He then said "how many often do you do it" I replied "at least six times a week" He said, "three?" I said "six" (as I held up my fingers - I was sort of walking away...) and he said "you should start teaching" to which I replied "I've been thinking about it...." and then it was over.

It lasted a good 30 seconds... when I walked back out of the locker room I was going to ask what his name was but he was talking to someone else... he's very popular.

Now the "real" communication boundary has been broken... and I can communicate freely. so what if his voice doesn't match his body...

I can die a happy woman.

Here we are.

It's Sunday - I have got things to do. I will be back later - I'm busy.

Did I mention that I won money at the casino yesterday?

My second and last time ever gambling... okay maybe not the last time.

I came, I saw, I rambled...

The audition went alright I think. There were some interesting people... and some really nice people.

I'll post more tomorrow when I can get photos off my camera...

I'm ready for my closeup!

Last night I had Matt help me with my video for a backup audition tape. It's pretty good and I'll have to show it to you some day.

I can't stick around too long because I'm going to leave for the casino right after weight watchers. I have to take a shower before I go weigh in...

Hopefully I can take a nap this afternoon.

I am a failure.

I'm not really a failure but I have not stayed on the healthy eating wagon.... I've been house sitting and there is too much bad food around. I am expecting a gain tomorrow when I weigh in.

Today I should be getting my camera via Fedex. let's hope that they don't lose my camera like they lost my box of Today Show memorabilia. Last week I posted that promo of me. There's a promo on that site for my friend James in which you can see my Today show memorabilia. You can see it Here.

It's the shot where he is painting and they are above him. My pile of stuff is to the right of him. It comes in around the fifteen second mark or so... Oh how I miss it. The other day I was watching the episode of title this where I'm a panelist... I was wearing a black sweater in the episode which was also in the box... oh oh oh... also in James promo you can see me in the red raincoat that was lost as well. I know I shouldn't dwell on things I will never get back but it hurts... there was an autographed cookbook from Rocco DiSpirito as well... oh the memories.

Let me see... I have to do the following - finish my application. Determine what I'm going to wear to the casting call tomorrow. Create my schedule of Survivor training and write up a blurb for the show. Man, when did I get to be so busy?

Is it Friday yet?

It would have been really nice to have slept in this morning...

I have too many things to do before Monday... fill out my Survivor application, write up the info for my show and come up with a training schedule and event listing for it, learning how to use my video camera (once it comes)...

I realized last night that the ports on the right side of old crusty don't recognize anything which means when I plug in my firewire on the camera it won't register. I suppose I should take old crusty in to get her checked out... I noticed she's missing a few screws. Kind of like her momma.

The good news is that today is payday and there is a new episode of the Office on.

The bad news is that I just realized that I have a 100mb limit to videos I can post to my blog. I'm going to have to figure out how to get around this obstacle.... I'll find a way...

Maybe I'll get a move on now... things to do and place and people to see.

Evening update...

my tooth feels better - but it still hurts a bit when I bite down. At least the month long headache is gone...

Cycled this morning and I think my legs have lost all the feeling in them.

Tomorrow is payday so I sucked it up and ordered a video camera.

For those of you who read my blog and think that this purchase is a waste of my money - you can just suck it.

There - amen to that sistah!

Look at my roots!

Before my root canal....



After my root canal....


The procedure itself wasn't painful but my tooth area hurts.... every once in a while I'll get that sort of twinge you feel when you bite down on aluminum foil. Not fun.

I am posting tonight because I am going to go to cycle in the morning and I definitely won't be posting before I go.

Okay, I'm watching the Biggest Loser and I swear this season is making me a blubbering idiot. Jerry only lost one pound and it makes me cry... I'm going to need a good supply of Puff's Plus. WAAAAH.

TD!

That would stand for Tooth Day! I am very excited to be having my root canal today... I got to sleep in until 6:50, I am watching the Today Show and I'm drinking coffee.

The only think more I could ask for is my dog and a nice boyfriend to rub my feet.

This just in... a lion at a zoo somewhere had a root canal yesterday (maybe the national zoo???). I'm not the only one.

okay, doesn't this sweat spot look like a tree? (I'm sorry the photo isn't turned around in the proper orientation - I still have problems after all these years of blogging).



Okay, what else? Today I am getting my hair done - I am going to work on my Survivor application - there's an open call at the Muckleshoot Casino on saturday and I'm going. This way I don't have to work on my video... I am still going to put videos together for my show next month... and for training purposes.

Life is looking good - I just have to get past the root canal and things are all downhill from there.

Dear Jeff Probst...

My name is Jennifer and I'm going to be a survivor. I will be going to the casting call at the Muckleshoot Casino this Saturday. Be on the lookout for me. I'm cute, single and just a little bit older than you.

I say pick em young and train em!

Fashion Recap

Last night I watched the Golden Globes and here's what I have to say about the fashions.

Eva Longoria Parker - yes

Rene Zellweger - no (reminded me of a costume from Little House on the Prairie).

I would post pictures but they'll probably be all over the papers today.

Tomorrow is the day I am looking forward to - RCT Day! (Root Canal Therapy Day).

The tooth is going to drive me crazy. I think about the amount of ibuprofen coursing through my body and it's mind boggling. Another perk about tomorrow is that I get to sleep in until 6 or 6:30 - yee haw!

BTW - (by the way for you readers who are not in the loop)... Yesterday when I was at the Mall I got very very hungry... I kept looking around trying to find something to eat and couldn't find anything that was good for me. I decided to try the banana nut bar sample I got at ww the other day - BIG MISTAKE! It is the nastiest thing I have eaten in a long time. STAY AWAY FROM THESE HORRENDOUS MORSELS OF ARTIFICIAL BANANA NASTINESS!

Okay, I have to go now.

I think I'm going to barf.

Not really, but I don't feel too hot right now.

I have to work on my Survivor application... it's not an easy task.

I wish it would go away.

My tooth is going to drive me crazy.

Hopefully I can handle the next few days and then it will be over.

Onto other things.... I've been taking videos of myself for my Survivor Application but I'm having a problem downloading them to old crusty... I may have to start saving my dollars for a new version of her.

I have to get going on the application... I think I need to send it by tuesday via fedex if it's going to get there in time... I guess I know what I'll be doing today...

It's taken a while but I'm here.

The long commute from Edmonds this morning made it hard to post this morning.

Let me see.... I was down three pounds this morning so the fact that I ate an entire box of Hostess Ding Dongs on Sunday and Monday didn't have too bad of result... not that I would encourage anyone to eat a whole box of ding dongs...

I got my brows and lip waxed today too... I caught it all on film for my survivor application. I need to get working on that too... I'm going to run out of time and not get it all put together...

Maybe I'll take a nap instead. I have an opening at Crawl Space to go to tonight.

Word to your mother.

It's about time, it's Friday.

Click here and you can semi officially see what I did in New York last year.

I don't think I look too bad... what's up with the vein (or is that a muscle) in my neck?

It says I'm a stalker... I wasn't really a stalker... I was just a fan.

I'm at my friend Nancy's house for the next week or so... I like it here but it's a bit of a commute (Edmonds).

I supposed I shouldn't stick around too long then should I?

This is what a crazy cycle person looks like.

Me...



My bike (okay, I know it's not a real bike).



My thighs and shoes...



I took these photo's yesterday morning at my 5:45 class. I also took some videos but I'm still trying to get them onto my computer. I got them onto my mother's Imac but can't find a cd to burn them to to transfer them to my laptop.

Tonight I get to hang out with Mr. Wormie. He's a cat you might recall. I also should go to First Thursday. Since I am an artist I should start acting like one. Shouldn't I?

Stinky slept with me last night... she's a nice little warm thing. Now she's curled up next to me on the sofa.

Next subject - my weight. I've actually done a good job of tracking what I have eaten this week. I even wrote down the chili cheese fritos I ate yesterday. You just need to follow the plan and it works. What a concept!

Okay, I think I'm done for this morning...

I only woke up once in the middle of the night because of my tooth.

An evening at home.

I went to get my tooth checked and I have to have another root canal. It's on the tooth that just had the crown. Fortunately they can drill through it and I won't have to wear the old crown around around my neck on a chain.

My name was on the list for cycle tonight but I called and canceled. I've decided to hang out at home. I need to figure out if I can download all the mini movies I took today onto my computer. I started trying to find my card reader but it's nowhere to be found. I suppose if I picked things up every once in a while I wouldn't have this problem would I?

My application for Survivor needs to be in LA on the 14th (the day after my root canal).. Yes, I'm going to apply... it's a project. Look for the blog soon...

Today's summary.

cycle
work
Endodontist.
recline on sofa.

Stinky's big day.

Today Stinky is eight years old. She sure is cute.

This morning I am suffering from a slight case of PMS. I'm sure you all wanted to hear that didn't you? Just one more egg getting ready to shrivel up and fall out. Dwindling down my reproductive lifecycle to zero, zilch, nada. At least I'll have cute legs and a cute dog if I don't ever have children. Is that a good trade off? I'm not sure.

I suppose I shouldn't dwell on all that - I should get ready to go to work.

It might be a bad tooth day...

I called the dentist today and they told me to call the endodontist. Whoopee! Just what I wanted - the possibility of a root canal - or two.



That's a photo of my tree freshly covered in snow. Maybe that will make me feel better about the possibility of spending a thousand dollars more on my teeth.

Snow again.

It snowed a lot yesterday afternoon and into the night. It's really slushy and wet, and I'm not looking forward to wading into it to get my car to the gym this morning.

Once everyone makes it into work today things should get back to normal.

I think I may have to break down and call the dentist this week. The tooth where I have the new crown has been hurting ever since I had it fixed. Hopefully I won't have to have a root canal. Maybe the crown just needs to be repositioned. I can cross my fingers... if they have to make a new crown maybe they'll let me keep the gold one I have on it now. I could put it on a chain and wear it around my neck.

I am going to give myself five more minutes and then I'm going to go get ready.

It's never a good thing.

Yesterday started off well but went downhill. I sat on the sofa for the better part of the day after getting back from the gym.

Hopefully I'll do better today.

I am supposed to start filming my survivor application video today with my second lovely assistant Matt, but I haven't heard from him yet. I don't even know what I'd film myself doing...

Maybe I'll figure something out.

There's no time like the present.

I weighed in this morning and I was up 1.8 pounds - I thought to myself - what the hell am I doing??? I can lose the 13.8 pounds I've put on since April 2006. I just need to get with the program... I think the biggest problem is that I eat when I'm not hungry.

so here it is... I weigh 153.8 pounds. I'm okay with that weight but I'd like to get back to 140. That's just 6 pounds under the maximum for my height.

I'm thinking maybe we'll start a blog about getting back to goal... I'll list all the food I eat and how much I weigh and how I feel. Maybe I won't though...

The other day I found a slip of paper in one of my old trackers which stated that I wanted to have firmer thighs in 2008. I can say that I accomplished that. They can only get better too! Since I've started wearing my new cycling shoes I can tell that my legs are working harder. I may have skinny legs eventually.

I have no idea what I'm going to do for the rest of the day... maybe I'll take a nap or clean. It could be interesting.

Working on the slowest day of the year.

I have to work today. I have a feeling it's going to be really really slow.....

Hopefully I will have something to do. On Wednesday I had to resort to sorting tabs at my desk. Now I don't know if any of you have sorted tabs but it's not the most exciting thing. I also asked people if they needed help... one person who will remain unnamed made a comment when I didn't know how to do what they needed help with (I'm not a legal secretary...)... let's see if I ever offer to help you again. B*t&%!

Yesterday I deinstalled my work at Crawl Space... I enjoy making my work and even taking it down. I need to start doing it more.

that will be my resolution.... to find a place to make my artwork and then start working on it!!!

there I did it.

I was thinking about asking Mr. Arms what his name was yesterday, but then I heard his voice again and I just can't do it.

I am supposed to go to happy hour after work today... I won't be able to stay long though... I need to weigh in tomorrow so I can eat too much either... I know I should just get back on the ww bandwagon as well (that's another place that is going to be incredibly busy this month...).

This weekend is free communication weekend at eHarmony.... I filled out my compatibility questionnaire about four years ago and have been considering joining. I fixed my profile so it started sending me new matches... Maybe I'll think of this as a "project" and do things that I wouldn't normally do. Not that I would know how to "date"... Maybe I should just suck it up and do it.... the only "real" problem I see is my living situation. Who really wants to date someone who is living with their mother?

Okay, everyone remember to wash your hands.

Resolve.

It's the new year. I have a dog on my lap, a cup of coffee next to me and Ann Curry on the television.

The movie I went to see last night was Rachel Getting Married. It was really good but a bit on the depressing side... I only cried during it three times... I'm a softy.

Today I am off to the gym to take the one and only cycle class offered today... I'm also going to head over to Crawl Space and deinstall my work from the current works show.

I think I've lamented about the new year enough... the only thing I'm not looking forward to is all the new people at the gym who think they want to get fit but won't really follow through. It will be at least a good month before it settles down...

Okay, enough complaining...